New York Girls (Middlesex)

Let me take you back to everyone’s favorite part of high school: freshman year orientation. The blonde girls have already congregated towards one another, the lacrosse players have segregated themselves to their own little corner filled with FedLax logos, and you have found your own little group to stand with, so you’re not the one kid standing alone. No matter what group you have fallen into, no group is scarier, more intimidating, and more frustrating than the one conveniently walking in a couple minutes late to the “get to know everyone meeting”, making everyone turns and looks at them.

These are the New York City girls, straight out of the Upper East side of Manhattan. They have straightened hair, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, or Canada Goose on their shirts and jackets, and god dammit, could their skirts be any shorter?? But beware, don’t comment on anything about their appearance, because they’ll hit you with that “objectify me one more time and my daddy will sue”, and then you’re fucked. They always find a way to bring up how their dads work on Wall Street, or how they went to Chapin--“and you know when they say Chapin in Gossip Girl? Ya, I like kinda went there, Ivanka Trump read me books in preschool.” You may think all of this is an exaggeration. It’s not. One would think that they are so cringey that you would be able to turn your cheek and forget about them. But despite a strict diet of coke and crème brûlée pods, a few of them keep appearing at the top of the class every semester... somehow. However, even the “socialites” who “do okay” with a C- GPA have one thing figured out: there is strength in numbers. At every prep school, there are countless girls like this. They find each other, sometimes through daddy’s Ivy alumni network, and they travel together, and they rain hell down on everyone else, one “you’re only here for diversity” comment at a time. One on one, these girls aren’t so bad, but it’s the pack of them that turns heads in the hallways and draws stares in the dining hall. So while reading this, if you are thinking of a select few girls who enjoy spending summers in the Hamptons and winters in Colorado then take my advice and walk the opposite direction when you see them walking down the hallway together.

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